Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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