she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
