It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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