I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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