I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
