But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
