Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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