you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
