At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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