I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
