If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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