Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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