You can't motorboat a personality
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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