he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think your dad took our porno
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
