i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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