Got a toothbrush?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
