don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
