There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
