no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
