drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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