i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I party with great urgency now.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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