They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
it's great music for shaving your balls
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
