Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
