No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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