youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
