How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
