How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I faked an abortion last night.
Buhtt sex?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize