Who wears a wallet chain?!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize