i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
