one two three fourrrrnication!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
