Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
