And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
