Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
