I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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