id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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