He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize