It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
