Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
