we're blogging at a bar
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
