I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
