Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
