I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
