We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
