Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
These tits shall not be calmed
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
