is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
