No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
