; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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