After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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