I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
