Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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