i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize