nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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