We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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