He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
