She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
