i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
