Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize