Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
