I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
accomplished twins. life is a go
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
